Getting it Right

If you are a parent, regardless of your child’s age, you know that the days in which you second guess your parenting skills/choices far outweigh the days that you feel you are doing a good job. Today was one such day for me, but in the good sense.

I have the good fortune of being in the education field which, in turn, is rewarding in all of the cliché ways, but also in the since that I get the same days off that my boys do. Therefore, I get a lot of extra time with them. However, being in education also gives me daily displays of poor parenting. I see kids that are neglected beyond words (both physically and emotionally). While I could spend pages telling you stories just form the last week, I will save you the knot that will surely occur in your stomach. This same aspect of working in education is also a small blessing in disguise—I hesitate to say that as, I am sounding like the misfortune of others is my satisfaction. Let me attempt to explain. Katie and I have a much different perspective on the boys at times, in the sense, what constitutes a big deal. Given that I often work with kids/families that have kids that are abused in every sense and come from destroyed homes I have far greater patients with the boys. When I come home and Katie is upset that the boys have been arguing for the last twenty minutes or that they are unappreciative of the cookie she bought them, I often don’t give the reaction she would like (don’t get me wrong, I discipline quite harshly). But when you come home after a home visit to a home that has a dirt floor (literally) where you had to meet with the mother because she fails to report to the school to discuss her child’s self mutilation and sexual misconduct (second grade) you gain a different perspective.

So on to my point, today was one of those days where I was off with the boys due to it being Lincoln’s Birthday. After a morning of driving the boys to get their favorite breakfast (egg and cheese sandwiches) and run a few errands, we come home to clean up the house and relax. It had been raining all day and the boys where becoming a bit restless and were tired of playing legos, watching movies and playing video games. Therefore, when it cleared up for a moment, I asked the boys of they wanted to go on a bike ride. They both yelled, “yeaaaaaah!” I told the boys I would get my shoes on and then we would go. Bubba asked, “can we go to the park and have a picnic?” to which I responded, “Bubba it is going to be cold and wet, why don’t we just ride the bikes and stop quickly at the park.” They both agreed. I came out from the back with my shoes on and said, “lets go!” After a few moments of prying the DS from Tubbs’ hands, we were off. Simon had his usual back pack on and loaded with his favorite toys, or so I thought.

We were riding for about ten minutes, when Bubba says, “Lets hurry up and get to the park!” I was a bit hesitant, because I wanted the boys to ride for a bit to get some exercise, but Bubba was adamant that we get to the park. Moments later we arrived at the park and Bubba quickly drops his bike and begins to feel the grass to see if it is indeed wet. As I get off my bike (this was a chore since I am sore and beat up from the prior day’s flag football) I look up to see Bubba and Tubbs sitting at the picnic table.

Now this is where I had one of those “getting it right” moments! As I hobble to the picnic table, Bubba begins to open his backpack. I am sure he is just getting one of his mothers Cadbury Cream Eggs out to enjoy (this is an entirely different story). To my surprise Bubba pulls out one of grandma Hogue’s quilts and says, “Since it is wet on the grass we will use it as a table cloth!” I just chuckle and laugh at him. He then takes his helmet and uses it to hold the “table cloth” down. By now, Tubbs and I are sitting at the table just watching Bubba. At this point Bubba says (I must emphasize that this is not altered one bit), “Ok, I packed each of us a water (he pulls out a water bottle for each of us), I packed a juice box for Tubbies and me (he pulls out three Capri Suns), I packed a peanut butter and honey sandwich for Tubbs, a yogurt for daddy, carrots for us, three jello’s for dessert, and a lunchable for me!! (Yes, he pulls this all out one at a time and I just laugh, but can’t help but want to hug him).” I respond by saying, “Wow, Bubba, this is a great picnic I really…” then he interrupts and says “oh wait, I packed a bag of ice too!” (He then pulls out a sandwich bag full of ice). I tell him thank you, but I will have to save the yogurt for later because I don’t have a spoon…” but why would I doubt him as he says, “Daddy (with his head tilted reaching into his pocket), I have a spoon for you right here!” and sure enough he pulls out a spoon. The 6 year old thought of everything!

We sat for the next 10-15 minutes eating our “picnic” and just sit back and watch my offspring discuss the world. Tubbs walks over, unprovoked and gives Bubba a big hug and says, “thank you for the picnic Bubba!” to which Bubba says, “you are welcome, I am sorry it is so cold!” (Again, nothing added). They precede to yuck it up only like they can and discuss deep concepts such as what they are going to call their rigs (manhood). This ranges from peanuts, kiwis and wiener, until they both settle on “family jewels.” This then requires them both to laugh uncontrollably for the next 45 seconds, of which Bubba uses to conjure up one of the largest green booger bubbles from his nose that I have ever seen!

As I sat there, I could not help but look at my two boys, who in my eyes are the most perfect creation Heavenly Father could put on the earth, and smile at how much they really love each other. I then think back to the kids I get to work with daily and then just truly appreciate the day I had with my boys. Unfortunately, after a few “cheers” with our water bottles it began to rain so we moved the picnic back home to the den. On the way back, I just had a sense for a moment that Katie and I are doing something right!